Compromising on Decisions – Wedding Planning Edition

Everything is perfect. You’ve just gotten engaged to the love of your life. You can’t wait to get planning the wedding, and to make it everything you’ve ever wanted it to be. You can see it start to come together already, after all – you’ve been planning this day in your mind for years. There’s only one problem. Your fiancé has a completely different vision, and you can’t seem to agree on how to go forward. This is natural, and definitely doesn’t mean you should call the wedding off. If anything, it’s positive that both of you care so much about the wedding and want it to be perfect. That doesn’t mean finding common ground is easy. Luckily – we’ve compiled our top 5 tips on what to do when you and your fiancé disagree during wedding planning.

1. Listen

This is the most obvious tip but it can be easily overlooked in all the excitement. Take time to hear your fiancé’s point of view, and really try to understand it. Be patient as they explain their feelings towards a particular choice, and you may be surprised by what you hear. Similarly, your partner should listen to you and take your views into consideration. Developing listening and communication skills goes beyond wedding planning, it will be fundamental to your future marriage too.

2. Make a List

Both of you should write down a list of your most important priorities. This helps to settle any immediate disagreements by outlining which choices really matter, and which choices you could live with. It can help to rate how strongly for or against an idea you both are too. For example, if your fiancé rates having a live band as a 9/10, but you rated a DJ 5/10 – go with the highest rated option.

3. Take a Break

If you have been disagreeing on the same couple of issues and can’t seem to find a resolution that you are both comfortable with, put away the wedding planning for a while. Take a short break, and do something fun together. Planning can be all consuming, and it’s easy to get caught up. A short break can ease any budding tensions, and hopefully help you both return with a calmer mindset.

4. Divide and Conquer

Make a list of all the choices that need to be made, and delegate between you. It’s unlikely that you both have the exact same level of interest in each choice, so use this to your advantage. If your fiancé feels more strongly about the table arrangements, let them choose the centre pieces, and you can choose which flowers to go for. This will save time, and helps to avoid disagreements on some of the smaller decisions.

5. Focus on the Big Picture

Ultimately, the wedding is one day, and the start of your journey as a married couple. Focus on that. When you look back, you won’t remember all the tiny details, but how much fun you had and how in love you were. Don’t let the stress of wedding planning make you forget that the day is a celebration of your love. Let yourself feel excited, and hopefully you will look back on the wedding planning with fond memories.